He Knows What I Need.

/There's a day that's drawing near/
/When this darkness BREAKS TO LIGHT/
/And the shadows disappear/ 
/And my faith shall be my eyes/ 
/And the grave is overwhelmed/ 
/The victory is WON/
/He is risen from the dead/ 

Yesterday was a God-day.
"My Jesus knows just what I need." 

I haven't blogged since we've been here, and it's incredible how much can change in 2 and 1/2 weeks.
How uprooting and moving across the world can become the new normal.

But there is still a whole lot of new.
There are so many things that I haven't seen, heard, tasted, or learned yet that it can seem a bit overwhelming.
Okay, a LOT overwhelming.

And for the past weeks that we've been here, we've been settling in, and thinking about little things like
coffee pots and bookshelves and sleep.
and that's good, because this IS home now, and we have to be practical for at least a little while.
And I'm just now realizing how God has blessed us with our house and furniture and all the other important things that one needs to live.
But, it's easy to slip back into 'life' without really changing anything.
Just because we're on the other side of the world as missionaries doesn't mean that our attitudes or thoughts or habits automatically become perfect.
Rather the opposite.
It's easy to forget that God didn't just bring us here to exist; He never calls us just to exist.
He has a purpose in us being here other than just staying in our little shells, even when it's hard to communicate with anyone around us.

Bunny Trail.

Yesterday, was a God day.
A few of us Millers and Barkmans spent a day roaming around Thailand.
We started out around 7:00 am.
By the time got to the mountain, the sun was up, and people were bustling around.
Our first 'experience' was seeing the monks coming down from the mountain for their daily food gathering.
People would bring them food for good karma,
and bow to receive a blessing from the monks, many of them ranging from 10-20.
 What an empty, empty religion, inspired from fear.
Pray for these people.

We then walked to the top of Doi Sutep Mountain, to the temple on top.

yes, all those stairs.
And more. 

We got to the top, and walked around.
Oh Jesus, how Your heart aches for these people.
These people, normal ordinary people, coming from far and near to bow down 
and worship, not out of love, but out of terror.
It's incredible to see what people will do out of fear.
Looking into their faces and seeing nothing, emptiness,
Performing useless rituals faithfully,
and seeing their precious children watching 
and imitating their parents is ...
Break through, O Lord, release the captives, and reclaim Your ground.

We sang on that mountain, in the temple,
in a place where Jesus is almost never recognized.

 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. 
(Psalm 16:11)

After that, we were sent on a scavenger hunt.
It was quite the experience.
We were given a list of things that we had to accomplish,
two maps, and some $$.
(which is always useful when using public transportation.)

We were supposed to find a monk, and have a chat with him.
that was very interesting; 
hearing his story and realizing that monks are real people.
To hear him talk about the uncertainty of their religion; never knowing if you're 'enlightened' or not,
never knowing where you stand ...
Praise God for our living vibrant anchor in Jesus.

Trying a Chai Yen and marking it off our list.

And generally looking lost and confused.

We finally made it to the end of our scavenger hunt after 
'learning' 1-10 in Thai, trying dragonfruit, 
getting four different song taaus, 
sending a 'postcard',
and being lost for about half an hour.
It was so good to get out into the city, 
and instead of retreating into a shell because you can't understand anything, 
we HAD to learn how to communicate.
Prayer walking through the markets,
and realizing that these are his people too.
God places His holy burden on our hearts,
may we learn to joy in it's heaviness.

We had lunch, and then traveled to a boarding house/home for school children.
I have never felt the language barrier so keenly before,
and the huge wall it can erect.
But thankfully, over helping them sort through bean sprouts, 
and stumbling over Thai sentences,
relationships were forged.
It's amazing how much fun learning a language from children can be.
We probably were only right about 1/3 of the time, 
but laughter and smiles are something that translates to every language,
and so there was a lot of that.

It's also amazing how quickly these kids can capture your heart.

Cherie and her twistables were a huge hit.

and then there was a lot of general chaos and games and music and fun.
God imparted His heart, love, burden, passion and peace to His children today.
" My Jesus knows just what I need."

       For all of you who have asked how to pray for us,
pray for clarity in ministry decisions and family decisions.
knowing how much to say yes to, and when to say no.
Pray that God's will would be in our hearts, and that His glory would be seen through our actions,
because words aren't really something we can use yet.
Pray that we'll be able to learn the language as quickly as possible.

Thank you so much for your prayers, really.
We may never know the impact they've had on our lives in this life.
God bless you people.

- C.Celise.B.


  1. "God places His holy burden on our hearts,
    may we learn to joy in it's heaviness."
    mmm yes. I love to hear how you're exploring and learning and praying and soaking it all up. I love you dearly, Christina.

  2. I loved reading your post. Barkmans and Millers together, watch out world. :) I am trying hard not to be jealous. Praying for y'all as you get settled into your new home and continue to embrace the journey He has you on.

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