Toad sat straight down in the middle of the dusty road, his legs stretched out before him, and stared fixedly in the direction of the disappearing motor-car. 
He breathed short, his face wore a placid satisfied expression, and at intervals he faintly murmured 'Poop poop!'. . . 
"Glorious, stirring sight!" murmured Toad, never offering to move. 
"The poetry of motion! The REAL way to travel! The ONLY way to travel!
Here to-day, in next week tomorrow! Villages skipped, towns and cities jumped - 
always somebody else's horizon! 
O bliss! O poop-poop! O my! O my! . . . 
"And to think I never knew," went on Toad in a dreamy monotone.
"All those wasted years that lie behind me, I never knew, never even dreamt!
But now - but now that I know, now that I fully realize! O what a flowery track lies spread before me, henceforth! What dust-clouds shall spring up behind me as I speed on my reckless way! What carts I shall fling into the ditch in the wake of my magnificent onset!"
                          Toad, the Magnificent, from The Wind In The Willows.

After an afternoon of complete torture, I.HAVE.PASSED.
My permit test.
My "instructor" was a man of . . . shall we say, unsubtleness?
I was sitting there in my chair, sweat pouring off of my face, hands shaking.
Might I point out that my dear brother said that it was "easy", and that I would maybe only have 25 questions.
There were 40.
I got into the chair, after being asked whether I'm dependent on alcohol or drugs, or whether I have a mental disorder, and began.
I had ten wrong, out of the eleven questions that I could get wrong, and still had about 5 questions remaining.
And then. 
I shakily stood up, and went to the counter after he called my name, and after mother came, he proceeded to tell everyone in the building that I JUST passed with a "wing and a prayer."
I don't exactly know what that's supposed to mean, but it makes pretty much sums it all up.
He also proceeded to announce that I would kill myself on the intersections.
Thanks, I'll have fun on them now that you said that.
And mother won't let me forget that little fact.
Might I also mention that I only had about one evening and morning to study?
Yeah, well I did.
And never once did I squeal my brakes, or make mother scream!
Okay, that wasn't true.

And yes, for all of you people who are wondering, I can reach the steering wheel, AND the gas and brake.
And the seat.
Thank you.

above picture from the internet.


  1. Your last paragraph is my favorite. My very favorite. Where was my to-die-for wit when I was your age and size? Wait. I’m still your size.